Mourning the Living

Decomposition us a recurring theme in my body of work. Decomposition is very interlinked with death and the breaking down of the body and mind. My grandfather has Alzheimer's disease, and has had it for a long time. As his mind and body currently deteriorate, I come to terms with the loss of who he once was and the fact that he will soon die. I created this piece to communicate a very surreal, and less talked about, part of the grieving process: the part where your loved one isn’t actually dead yet.

I placeed him on a pillow embroidered with small, lightly wilted, white flowers to convey my respect, and evoke a sense of ceremony (white flowers are for celebrations like marriage, but also for funerals).

The pillow itself is also ceremonial (marriage rings are typically brought on a pillow), because really aging, death, and grief is all a ceremony; it’s just a very long one. The pillow is the pillow he sleeps on at night, but also the one he will lie his head on in his casket.